Listan

Valda delar av den här läste vår religionslärare upp för oss på gymnasiet vill jag minnas. Tycker den är ganska upplysande faktiskt. Det finns hur många varianter som helst.

Taoism: Shit happens

Confucionism: Confucius says: "Shit happens"

Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit

Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?

Hinduism: This shit has happened before

Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah

Protestantism: Let the shit happen to someone else

Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it

Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?

Sufism: The wise man never notices shit happening

Christian Science: If shit happens, pretend it doesn't really exist

Mysticism: Just experience shit happening

Agnosticism: Nobody knows why shit happens

Gnosticism: I know why shit happens but won't tell you

Atheism: Shit just happens and that's all there is to it

Cartesianism: Shit happens to me, therefore I exist

Platonism: There is ideal shit happening somewhere

Stoicism: I don't care if shit happens

Cynicism: Of course shit happens

Occultism: Shit materializes from other planes of existence

Terrorism: Shit will happen unless you do as I say

Freudianism: If shit happens, tell me about it

Parapsychology: Shit happens without material causes

Cubism: If shit happens, you won't recognize it

Cultural relativism: Shit happens everywhere differently

Optimism: If shit happens, we'll find a way to use it

Pessimism: If shit happens, there won't be enough for
everybody

Tabloid Sensationalism: Green shit from Mars happens to Elvis clone

Biblical Creationism: Shit happens because God created it

Secular Humanism: Shit happens because it evolved from
primitive shit

Feminism: Men are shit

Ecology: If organic shit happens, it's OK

Capitalism: Let's profit from shit happening

Socialism: If shit happens, let's distribute it equally

Patriotism: Our shit is better than your shit

Conservatism: Shit was better in the old days

Trekism: To bodly shit where noone has before

Conspiracy Theorism: THEY shit on us

Acupuncturist: Hold still or this will hurt like shit

Tantrism: Fuck that shit

Fatalism: Oh shit! It´s going to happen!

Surrealism: Fish happens

Rastafarism: LET`S SMOKE THIS SHIT!!!